I’ve been reading comments on the DPS Facebook group and I saw that quite a few of you have some of the same concerns. That concern is fear. Fear paralyzes so many people and it really keeps you stagnant. I don’t want that for you. I absolutely want you to be one of the people who are able to conquer your fears, actually realize your dreams, achieve your goals and see your ambitions become reality. So I wanted to give you a little nugget to help you along the way.
Like you, many years ago there was a lot of fear within me about stepping out doing my own thing and going against the grain if you will. People would tell me things like:
“Well fear is false evidence appearing real.”
“You know fear is not real. You weren’t made with the spirit of fear.”
While that all sounded good, I was still thinking okay so what do I do now? What action can I take? What can I take away to actually implement in my life? When someone gives that advice, it may give you comfort at the moment but it doesn’t answer your question of how to move forward with your dreams goals and ambitions.
The best way I can relate this is with a story. When my daughter, Autumn, was six, my husband and I taught her how to ride a bike and it was very dramatic. if you’ve ever taught a six-year-old how to ride a bike, you know how dramatic it can be. So she’s screaming, which makes the neighbors come outside and everyone’s looking because she’s just terrified but she wants to ride the bike. Dad, of course, has her all padded up as if she’s going to war because he doesn’t want her to fall. We finally get Autumn on the bike with us holding both sides of her bike and she also has training wheels so there is no possible way that this girl is going to get hurt. We walked with Autumn for a while and she kept looking at us saying, “Mama, Daddy don’t let me go! Don’t let me go! She was so fearful! I would imagine she was asking herself questions like:
What happens if I fall? The neighbors are outside and the kids I play with will laugh at me.
What do I do? I’ve never done this before and I just don’t know what’s gonna happen.
I could see her asking those questions even though she wasn’t verbalizing. I could see those questions because I could see the worry and just the the fear that took over her.
At some point, we realized that she had the right motions down pat so my husband and I removed our hands from her bike without saying anything to her. She began to ride on her own and continued to ride on her own until she looked back at us. She realized we were no longer holding her bike and we saw the concern leave her face. We saw her smile because she realized that the thing that she wants, and desires she now possessed!
She’s riding her bike that earlier that day had only been a wish. It had only been a dream, an aspiration, but now it was a reality. She got what she desired. I could see, with each stroke of the petal, that she gained more confidence and with confidence, her fear subsides.
So you may be asking “Nicole, what does that have to do with me? I know how to ride a bike. Here’s how it relates and what’s relative for you.
The only antidote to fear is action.
Everything that I’ve accomplished has been accomplished not in the absence of fear but in the presence of fear. Autumn was asking herself all of these questions that you are asking yourself right now.
What if I fail and my family laughs at me?
What if my friends think, ‘oh girl, we told you that would never work’?
What if the past shows up with all it’s skeletons?
What if I’m just humiliated
What happens if I lose it all?
l know I’m risking everything to be something more, to reach up for more, to reach out for more and I’m putting everything on the line and what happens if it doesn’t work?
In that conversation, there’s no room for advancement. There’s no room for growth. There’s no room to progress. I’m going to challenge you today to change your dialogue, to change your conversation, and I will give you some framework. Because at some point Autumn stopped asking herself what if I fail and started asking herself:
What if I succeed?
Many of you are just asking yourself the wrong question. You’re worried about the hypotheticals, you’re worried about the unfounded fears and you’re asking yourself over and over what if I fail. But what if you don’t? What if you don’t?
Years ago I took my last paycheck and started a business. There was not another paycheck coming in, there was not a savings account and there wasn’t a knight in shining armor in my life. I had no idea what would happen but I knew what would happen if I stayed in my reality of where I was at that time. I felt like what was inside of me was important to pursue. It was more important to pursue attainment of that than staying where I was, which kept me feeling stuck and unfulfilled. To say that I have a complete answer for fear and you do a B C and D, would be being very dishonest and inauthentic. Instead, I say do it. Autumn did it afraid. Soon, I was watching the same little girl who was on the bike, scared to go you know just a few feet in front of her, ride all through the neighborhood. She’s taking a hand off the handlebars and, frankly, I’m the one who’s nervous! She can do that because the more that she rode the more confidence she gained so every time she got on the bike the fear subsided a little more. She has no fear anymore because she put herself in action and obtained what she desired.
There’s no difference for you. It’s no different for your life or for your business. You’re gonna have to ‘do life’ in the presence of fear because fear is not going to be absent.
I want to encourage you and tell you I’ve been fearful myself. I’ve done some scary things but on the other side of this testimony, risking it all with my last paycheck as a single mom, I am now the owner of a multi-million dollar organization with years of success. I have been given the wonderful opportunity to work with a community of women. I can tell you that I’m so glad I did it – afraid.
It’s not without risk – success creating a life that you want, creating a business you want, creating a ministry you want, or whatever it is. It’s not without fear. But the antidote to fear is action. You need to do something and the first thing is you make a decision. Ask yourself, “Do I stay here knowing the reality of what here is? Knowing that you feel unfulfilled, knowing that you know there’s more or do you do it afraid? Do you get on the bike like Autumn fully believing it is yours to obtain.
Everything that you want is yours but you’ve got to get in action. Schedule a Breakthrough Session Now.